It's been awhile since I've posted anything new. I've been 'smelling the roses', so to speak. (And literally drinking the Koolaid...not the bad kind.)
My husband is still in Mexico. He will be there, probably, until December. It's getting easier. The house is relatively cleanish, the laudry is mostly caught uppish. The kids are happy-ish. I am not constantly yelling and I am reading with them and having them read to me at night.
I feel happy. I feel incomplete without my husband, but I feel happy. Things are getting better, more enjoyable.
I'm starting pre-med courses in August. I'm nervous/excited/scared/determined. I'm ready. I want to do something more with my life. And I want my kids to enjoy a better life. I don't want to be a chickenshit anymore. So, I'm not going to be anymore.
I can't wait until my husband comes back. We can restart our lives and renew our marriage and being our lives from a fresh start.
Exciting things are coming for our family.
-IndiaGuerita
Monday, July 9, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Note to self...
Dear Self...
You have a kid with Autism. You have a husband who's in Mexico...for an undetermined amount of time. You have two other neurotypical children who demand your attention. You're keeping up house and home...working 40 hours a week...watching your niece one day a week at night...paying the bills...cooking dinner...cleaning...walking the dog...getting the kids ready for school...and then doing it all over again the next day.
It's time to stop and smell the roses. You are missing everything. You are yelling at your kids...you aren't helping them with their homework...you aren't reading to them at night (or ever).
When they were babies you enjoyed every breath they took...but now you're too busy for them.
Life is really, really short. It's time to stop...and pay attention to your kids...to yourself...to your dog. Stop cleaning the house...the laundry can wait. (Listen to your mother...she's usually (always) right!)
It's okay not to be perfect. (Having a clean house makes you look good to others...but being a shitty mom makes everyone hate you, including the most important people: your kids.)
And...remember...good intentions paved the road to hell. Get your act together...prioritize.
Your kids love you no matter how clean or dirty the house, no matter how much laundry is sitting next to the washer and they don't care if you're fat or skinny...as long as you pay attention to them.
Love them. They are perfection.
Love,
Yourself
You have a kid with Autism. You have a husband who's in Mexico...for an undetermined amount of time. You have two other neurotypical children who demand your attention. You're keeping up house and home...working 40 hours a week...watching your niece one day a week at night...paying the bills...cooking dinner...cleaning...walking the dog...getting the kids ready for school...and then doing it all over again the next day.
It's time to stop and smell the roses. You are missing everything. You are yelling at your kids...you aren't helping them with their homework...you aren't reading to them at night (or ever).
When they were babies you enjoyed every breath they took...but now you're too busy for them.
Life is really, really short. It's time to stop...and pay attention to your kids...to yourself...to your dog. Stop cleaning the house...the laundry can wait. (Listen to your mother...she's usually (always) right!)
It's okay not to be perfect. (Having a clean house makes you look good to others...but being a shitty mom makes everyone hate you, including the most important people: your kids.)
And...remember...good intentions paved the road to hell. Get your act together...prioritize.
Your kids love you no matter how clean or dirty the house, no matter how much laundry is sitting next to the washer and they don't care if you're fat or skinny...as long as you pay attention to them.
Love them. They are perfection.
Love,
Yourself
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